Trying to be strong.
I’m so mad at you. I just want to kick and scream because I have all this residual anger inside of me. If I were alone with you..honestly? I don’t even know what I would do. I really want to pour a glass of water in your face or just scream at you. Maybe even cause a scene and storm away just to see if you would come after me. But do you know what I really want to do? What I keep envisioning over and over again? Running up to you and just hugging you. Not saying a word. Just allowing myself to savor the moment and not having to worry about what happens next. To just let my walls come down and just hold you. None of this will happen though because it means having to give in. Actually showing you how much you mean to me and how much you’re able to affect me. It means me giving you everything of me and you giving nothing in return. I won’t give in. I refuse. I must stand strong…even if it means standing alone. The pain will go away eventually…right?
